A gold star on a license plate can carry a very personal meaning. In many U.S. states, a Gold Star Family license plate is issued to eligible relatives of a service member who died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. Depending on the state, qualifying relatives can include parents, spouses, children, siblings, grandparents, or other close family members.

The tradition of the Gold Star goes back to military families displaying service flags during wartime. A blue star represented a family member serving in the military, while a gold star came to represent someone who had died in service. Today, that symbolism continues through Gold Star lapel pins, organizations, memorials, and special license plates.

That’s also why someone might react emotionally when asked about it. The plate isn’t simply a decorative military symbol or an award for the driver. It can represent the loss of a son, daughter, spouse, sibling, or another loved one. For example, California’s DMV says its Gold Star Family plate is for eligible relatives of an active-duty service member killed in the line of duty, while Texas offers its version to immediate family members of someone who died while serving.

Of course, a child asking about a symbol probably means no harm. The neighbor may simply have been caught off guard by a painful question.

So if you notice a Gold Star Family plate, the simplest explanation is also the most important:

It usually means the person driving that vehicle has lost a close family member in military service.